July 21, 2010
Question about my exes property…..?
By Planet Wealth
My abusive ex left our shared rented house over six months ago and I gave him a week to pack up his things and leave, during that week I lived at a friends house with my dog and cat as I feared for not only my safety but also wanted to protect my small furry friends as he had even started to abuse my staffy dog. He was a violent and abusive partner, both vebally and mentally and I have now found out that he cheated on me at every opportunity. The local police were fantastic in terms of looking out for me when I questioned him to go out as they had already been called to the house a few times. They were ready to place an AVO on him if his violent behaviour continued once he had left. Anyway, there has only been a few e-mails and texts from him (I have ignored) and a few text messages over Christmas and New Year (which I have also ignored). I have thankfully went on, but, I was cleaning out my garage the other day and found that he had left some of his personal things in my garage, nothing that vital, a couple of CD’s, shirts e.t.c. but of more sentimental value would be his photo album of when he was young. I am really not sure what to do with this. I absolutely do not want to contact this vile man ever as he scares me and his family are no better. I am worried that any contact I make will then be seen as an invitation for him to start hassling me again. Even wasting time writing this e-mail makes me mad as I really do not want to even reckon about him again so I really do not want to be packing the thing up and taking it to the post office to send to his work address (I don’t even know where he currently lives). Should I just throw it in the bin as he had a whole week to sort his things out….it’s also been six months already so he has not missed it? Any thoughts?
I should add that I would feel terrible if I did throw the photo album out as things like that can not be replaced.
Topics: renting shares | 8 Comments »
8 Responses to “Question about my exes property…..?”
Comments
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July 21st, 2010 at 7:58 am
You are such a excellent person for wanting to give back his baby pictures. I would probably do the same. Do you know where his family lives? If so you can wait until dark and leave the album on their doorstep. Don’t leave a note or ring their doorbell. Just leave it. If he should try to contact you after this, do what you have always been doing and continue ignoring him.
Edited…I just have to disagree with the 1st poster. Do NOT text or contact your ex at any cost. You questioned the police for help in getting you out of that situation and attempting to contact him again would not be wise.
July 21st, 2010 at 7:58 am
You could text him, tell him that you will leave it outside of the garage, for him to pick up. Tell you that you want it picked up within 3 days or you will donate it. Do not answer the door, or better yet, pick a time that you will either be at work, or go away for the weekend and pick that time. Then, do not answer the calls and the texts, if they should resume. Excellent luck!
July 21st, 2010 at 7:58 am
NAA
don’t throw it away, somethings can’t be replaced!
someday when everything is cool, leave it at a mutual friends house, or one his relatives!
July 21st, 2010 at 7:58 am
Take it to the police dept. and have them call him and and tell him he can pick it up there.
July 21st, 2010 at 7:58 am
Throw the other stuff away but the photo album…take it to a post office far away from your house and mail it. Use his parents address as the return address. If you don’t have his address, mail it to his parents and use someone else in the family’s mailing address. This way they won’t have your address but if something should happen, it will still be returned to him.
Please don’t throw it away…you have something that is priceless.
July 21st, 2010 at 7:58 am
The decent thing to do would be to send it to his work address or to one of his family members. Or, if you have a mutual "friend", question them to take it to him.
I would simply place it in a box, seal it, type up a address mark, and let the post office deal with it. Don’t bother to include a note or place a return address on it.
You’d want that consideration if it were your stuff. It’s the right thing to do.
July 21st, 2010 at 7:58 am
if you know where he lives, i would just mail it to him, with no return address on the outside… or, use your ancient houses return address.. that way, you dont have to feel guilty.. if he gets it, he gets it… if not, well, you’ll never know and at least you tried… i couldnt, in excellent conscience, throw it out either, but i certainly wouldn’t want it around or have to take it with me, should i go again…
July 21st, 2010 at 7:58 am
While his actions were shameful and horrible, he should have the opportunity to claim his family photo album, if I thought for a minute that this man had no chance for changing his character defects, Id tell ya to throw his pictures away, but, their is always a chance that he could change, I have a excellent friend who is a counselor for men and women with rage problems, and she claims while their are few, some change and go on to lead successful lives and give back to society in ways that are positive, so yes right now he is a hideous person, right now he is violent, but believe it or not, he could change? And when and if this should happen, he would be deserving of his photos, my thought would be to not throw them away, but to keep them with till you can figure out a way to return them to him with no ill consequences towards you. Lets face it, their was a time when you obviously had some feelings towards this man, you had to have seen something excellent in him otherwise he would not be your ex, so separate the negative from the positive while making this choice, of course protect yourself to the fullest while doing this, but if this were me, I would not throw these pictures away, because people do change, characters defects change daily, terrible habits change, people quit smoking, drunks quit drinking, abusive men also change.